The map that leads to you
by Chariott
Summary: It was during those times when he was only an eleven years old boy that he knew the feeling of being loved. She would irk him more times than he could count, but it was only because he cared for her that he got so angry. She was the only one there for him. Imagine the pain he went through when he thought she died... -The adventure of two separated souls, searching for eachother-
1. Chapter 1 - The mines

_Then, my dear, I'll tell you everything from the beginning..._

Having someone you can call family is a beautiful thing, so they say. After running with that special someone for as long as I can remember, laughing about his permanent failures and getting scolded for doing things that got both of us in trouble…I came to realize that the first statement is true.

Having someone like him and _then_ trying to call him family was different, though. He was different…from everything really! From the boys his age, the world, and especially from me. We were exact opposites, after all we weren't called the Ying-Yang brothers for no reason, and it felt soothing to know you could be there for someone and that someone could be there for you in return. It would constantly irk him, how I could smile and radiate happiness when the world around us was always so sad and gloomy, when all we've ever known was pain.

Truth to be told, I was happy because no one ever dared to separate us, as they were afraid the world's balance itself would've been broken if they even tried. I appreciated that. You see, in life appreciation may be a key to self-acceptance.

Ah…Yes, no one did, and yet…there just _had_ to be someone to come around the corner and try. And what's worse? They prevailed.

 **…** **the day of the incident, Japan…**

"…side-stepping to the right, swinging according to the opponent's height and speed, maybe even back flipping out of the way-"

"Yu-chan." A still calm eleven years old version of Kanda tried to get the girl with hair the color of ink to stop rambling and listen.

"-of an incoming attack. Hmm…how about we try the…" she trailed off, placing a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "…how was it called? Ehm…oh! Skull-popping!"

"Yu-chan!" He growled irritatingly and she eyed him with excitement, not noticing how impatient her soul brother became.

"Yes?" Alternatively to the heated emotions of anger he was radiating, she emanated serenity and waited patiently for him to speak with wide, honey dipped eyes. Which, of course, irked him more.

"We sh-"

"Oh! Is it that you're finally giving suggestions? What do you have?" she asked excitedly, the boy who wondered why he tolerated such a creature gripping the handle of his ridiculously sturdy black katana in exasperation.

"I have a seriously big plate with- shut your trap for a second so I can speak!" The young samurai-in-training glared down at the girl, whom in turn blinked back, not affected by his boo-gaze. She remained silent though. Rubbing his forehead, he sighed and turned down his temper. "We have to go. Those mines aren't going to puke out silver by themselves." Yu-chan opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off quickly. "No, no Yu-chan, they won't spit out everything if you tickle or sweet talk to them either." She pouted and clenched a small fist over her chest.

"You don't know that!" he tiredly rolled his sea-deep blue eyes and dragged her by her hand south-east wise to where all the sweat of insanely hard work nourished the earth.

She absolutely _despised_ that place. She absolutely despised the nauseating smell of dust and ashes, the ailing atmosphere, the grunts of effort, the suffocating feeling from inside and the wails. Oh god, the wails. You wouldn't expect that from a simple mine, but that was _not_ just that. It was something more. That was cursed land.

Those two poor children weren't the ones that discovered them, the horrible creatures half merging within the cave's walls. Stories and folklore used to swim around everywhere years ago about tall, long limbed and extremely thin humanoid creatures half emerging from stony walls inside deserted mines or mountain caves, creatures that demonstrated signs of cannibalism, long and sharp teeth, but for some reason they suddenly ceased. Kanda and Yuri knew why they stopped: the people that told those stories were here. In the walls.

Kanda thought it was a stupid idea to even be here, but the pay was good, the best they ever had, and all they had to do was work their backs off for some nasty fat land lord and avoid the monstrosities inside. Simple. Been there, done that. But Yuri said otherwise, at first at least…she actually went ahead and listened to the creatures' stories, that's how they knew they were once human.

"Humph~ghn…" a very tired dark haired boy grunted in effort as his body bent back then onwards, smashing rocks with a heavy pickax. He stopped for a few moments to wipe off sweat and dirt from his forehead. It started invading his eyes, and he hated it to no ends.

"Here." A twinkly voice rang in his ears, and, not able to open his eyes because of the stinging sensation, he fumbled around until a small hand grabbed his and pulled down with a ridiculous strength.

"What the-"

"Shh!" she hissed and forced him to sit on a random rock. It was uncomfortable; the pointy tip of his new seat was daring to scratch his butt, but he complied when he figured who the voice belonged to: small and bright Yuri. "Hold still and let me clean this grime off your face."

"With what water? There's no way that creep-o would give water to mere _children_." She frowned and slapped a wet cloth on his face. His head jerked back in surprise, then worry washed over him. "Yu-chan…you didn't-"

"I did. Quiet down. No one will notice."

" _He_ will notice, you know he always does!"

"If you fuss around about 'noticing-not noticing', they _all_ will notice." His body was still tense; he was still worried because he _knew_ , only he knew how painful those men's greed was. Anger flushed over too and began battling with worry inside his strained body. She always started everything. She: reckless, immature, crafty…stupid… _ugh._ She frustrated him and pulled on his wits to no end. Yet he still cared for her. He still watched her at night to be sure she was warm and didn't have nightmares. He still made her stupid little gifts on her birthday from however small amount of resources he could gather. He still held her hand in the rowdy market. He still looked behind him to make sure she was always there, always safe. And yet with her around, it was hard to ever stay safe.

But then he remembered why he tolerated her: she was always there. There for him, for _him_ and nobody else. Yuri loved him, and he swelled on the thought of being loved. She would always sneak tender actions in whatever they did to show that she cared, like this one moment.

"Fine…" he gave in. He always did. She smiled warmly at the boy in front of her and started wiping off the dirt on his face. She was extra cautious with his eyes, rubbing at the corners how best she could without producing discomfort.

"There, nice and scrubbed." She announced proudly and he blinked a few times, pleased that it didn't sting anymore. He managed one rare smile that Yuri would always search for, and she grinned back, savoring the moment, offering him a wooden cup filled with water. He eyed it strangely, before allowing himself to break a small, unimportant rule and drank its contents in small, thrifty gulps, appreciating every moment of freedom.

It didn't last long.

"There she is!" a man's croaky voice announced angrily, large feet stomping in their direction. "Thought you could steal water from the warden and get away with that? Huh? Do you not know how rare that is around here? That was _three_ people's portion for the _day_!" Yuri looked at the approaching men with an apologetic gaze, which, of course didn't affect their hearts in any good way. They hardened the looks they wore and towered over her small and sickly form.

"I…I'm…" her teeth clattered in frustration and finally decided to refrain herself from saying anything. It wouldn't matter either way.

"'I...I'm…' You what, selfish little _pest?_! Oh you will pay for this. And you will pay good." When they took a step closer, Kanda stepped in between and placed a shaky hand on the handle of his katana, which he safely kept on his back.

"It was for me." He began. "It was in no way selfish of her. She just wanted to do a good thing for a fellow child that worked even more than you lazy hypocrites." He spat fiercely. The men growled like hungry wolves, clenched their fists and launched. Kanda jumped back, taking Yuri along with him. Although he had fought people many times before, he was scared now. Not of them, but of what they could do to Yuri and himself if he failed. Simply the idea that he may fail, that she who offered him love would perish because he was not able to protect her, scared him. No, he was absolutely terrified by that thought.

He unsheathed his sword and placed it in front of him shakily. Aah…how many times he had been in this position. The handle fitted perfectly in his hands, and although the blade was a little too long, he knew he'd grow at some point. The feeling he got from it, however…it was warm. It felt natural, like him holding such a sharp and dangerous weapon had been written in stars before he was even born.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he launched at them too, clashing his sword with…metal? He snapped his eyes back open to see the men had disappeared, and instead two monstrosities floated above him and the third was the one he was currently engaged with.

 _Are those…No!_ He thought, memories of such creatures resurfacing after years in which he hadn't seen them.

"Yuu-kun, look out!" He was roughly shoved away and was pinned to the ground by none other than the one he tried most desperately to protect. A loud explosion followed just a few meters away from them. "Are you okay?" Her question came in ragged breaths, most probably from the sudden movement.

His eyes widened at her form protecting his much larger body. "What…what are you doing?" He pushed her off and grabbed her shoulders tightly. "Come on, run! Get away from here!" She pursed her lips and gave him a stern look, shaking her head.

"No, Yuu-kun. It was my fault in the first place, we're in this together. You hear me?" She cupped his cheeks tightly. " _Together._ " She repeated slowly and pointedly. His look hardened and shook her roughly.

"Yu-chan you don't understand! Don't be an idiot, look at them-" he was interrupted by her grabbing his arm and dragging him out of another shot missile's way.

"I did, no time to argue, move!" they landed hard on the uneven ground, but got up and started running into the forest, her hand still tightly laced on his upper arm and dragging him after her.

"These things are-"

"Dangerous. I know." She nodded at him, breathing hard. He shook his head, slowing his pace. "Don't stop! They're closing in fast-"

"That's exactly why I have to engage them!" she stopped and suddenly turned to him, her nose just inches away from his.

"No! Didn't you see what they did? There's no way you could survive fighting with them!"

"If I don't, there's not just _one_ of us who will die, Yu-chan!" she stared up at him with sorrowful eyes, then pulled him down for a tight embrace.

"I've seen before what those things can do…I've- I've seen _…everything_! And I'll be damned if I'll let you die like that!" she held him tight, so tight, he could feel every little amount of determination in every little inch of her body. If it was for them to go, they'd go together. "I won't let you turn to dust…" she said in a whisper, tears beginning to stain his shirt.

"So you will let yourself be killed like that-"

"I won't. Die!" she yelled and pushed him away gently, grabbing his shoulders tightly just like he did moments ago. "I won't die, you won't die! We will survive this day, and the next, and the day after that, because that's what we do! We survive! And there's _no way_ in _hell_ I'd forgive myself for choosing myself over you! We don't do that…" she trailed off, wiping her eyes quickly. "Come." She held out a hand for him, and after staring into her eyes for a while he…pushed her away. Her eyes widened as she fell, the words that came out of his mouth were muted as time seemed to stop in its tracks.

"Yuu!" she shouted, but her voice wouldn't reach. He was too far, and further away he ran.

The monsters came, and the boy that was far away roared and slashed at them with his sword. Their movements were slow and ragged, everything was a blur. He tripped. He fell. They towered over his shaking figure. He wouldn't give up. He got up and shouted. He launched again but was propelled in a tree. They were toying with him, with her Yuu, with the now bloody eleven year old Yuu, the Yuu she knew ever since she could remember, the Yuu that was slowly _dying._ For the love of god, _stop it_! He's dying!

A bright pink light emerged from the monster's stomach area and surrounded the boy. _No…_ A shaky Yuri got up on her feet, but stared mortified at the scene that was before her. She was shaking. She couldn't move.

 _Fight…If you can't fight, you can't live. If you don't fight, you die…_

At that point she remembered that she had seen this scene before. So, so many times she's seen it in nature but she considered it unimportant. It never crossed her mind until now but she could finally see it clearly. It was an endless cycle of the strong bringing down the weak and the weak being eaten. The world had always been…so cruel.

It was finally the time that the weak stepped up and reclaimed what was theirs. Life.

From that point on she could control herself perfectly. Every thought, every muscle, every single particle of her being was suddenly under her control. As a result of her awakening, a ripple of power surged throughout her whole body and she rushed forward, the earth crushing under the pressure of her new strength. She was closer now, so close. The light hadn't reached Yuu yet. Faster, stronger, further. She was right behind him.

 _Innocence…activate._

The sound that followed seemed much like the whole forest broke in half, much like a multitude of bones just cracked. The light reached the kids just as she reached for his body; it surrounded everything and blinded everything. Most tragically, it destroyed everything.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, the sun was beginning to rise. Confused, he tried getting up on his elbows so he could se where he was, but noticed, quite painfully, that he couldn't move. He settled to just trying to move his head, and tried stealing a look to the right. And he saw it, the destruction. That beautiful forest that was next to the mines was completely ruined. Wait…the mines! Yuri!

He desperately tried to wake up his arms and legs so he could search for her. He didn't die, which means he did something or Yuri did something. But if he didn't die…there was a great possibility that she did.

His heart ached and his head throbbed mercilessly. He had to know if she was okay. He had to know if she lived. Just as he was about to strain his body even more than it was, a small voice spoke from further away. It was so quiet that he could barely hear it, but he did, and he couldn't recognize it.

"If you move around too much you'll start bleeding again." The person that spoke seemed to be an old man with a pleasant smile plastered all over his face. His hair was funny, and gray, and he wore glasses. The man's concern dissipated as he saw the boy awake. Kanda, however, just eyed him with hatred. At that point, the boy couldn't know if that old dude was an enemy or not, but he wasn't willing to risk it.

"Oh, poor boy…don't look at this old man like that. I patched your wounds after all, you can trust me." Kanda examined himself as he could, before gathering all the strength he had and sat up on his rear.

"Yuri…" he muttered under his breath before attempting to sit up and failing miserably. The man caught him before he fell. "Let me go!" the dark haired boy shouted angrily and pushed him away, falling back on the ground. "Y-Yuri, I have to find…" at his third attempt to get up, his hands gave out and so did his knees. He laid there in the dirt, with his face covered once more in grime and blood, his eyes spilling tears he had never cried. Tears he never knew he had.

The old man watched him with sorrow. He grabbed the boy gently and brought him in a tight embrace, letting him cry out his pain. His fears. Everything. In the gentlest tone he had, the man sputtered out the words that began a new project- and that is Kanda's walls. The building of his walls, the walls that separated him from the rest of the word, had begun in that very moment.

"The little girl passed away, lad. I'm so sorry…"

You know it's weird, how one second she says she wouldn't die, and the next she just…slips away. Right through his fingers. If only he knew how, if only he knew why.

He found out how. The man had told him everything. Well, partially…

Turns out an innocence fragment was nestled in the heart of the mines. It was the source of those strange creatures half-merged within the walls and the reason for so many villagers' disappearance. It was also the reason those demons showed up, and the reason Yuri lost her life.

 _Innocence…_ he mused darkly and clenched a trembling hand. _Innocence be damned. Demons be damned, God be damned! This weakness of mine_ _ **be damned**_ _!_

The old man offered him an escape, and, amidst his sorrow, he accepted it. He wanted revenge, at least for her. He wanted them to feel his rage, to feel his desperation, to feel the excruciating pain he felt when the one that loved him, the only one that would compromise for him and accept him just as he was, flaws and everything, passed away.

He wanted to at least try and atone for his mistake, and give meaning to his dear's untimely demise.

He became an exorcist, just like he was meant to, and used Mugen –the black katana- as his vessel for the innocence, just like he was meant to. He wore his name with pride, and carried the sword with pride, as in pride she died and died for him. Sword in hand and carrying a heavy heart, he marched into a war against the Millennium Earl.

He was weak, but the tides turned. He had a life and he would live it to do what his dear Yuri started but couldn't finish.

Fight.

* * *

Piercing yellow eyes watched over the scene from his shadows. A creepy smile made its appearance on his face, revealing razor sharp teeth. The obnoxious appearance placed a hand over his face, covering his distinctive mole, the crazed look he had never wavering.

"Yeees, pitiful mutts! Crawl and search for revenge and turn the tides. A little fun we sure wouldn't mind. Kill, spill the blood of our demons, but you will never fill that hole you have. Poor little boy…that hatred you bear will eat you alive." The creature chuckled darkly. "Don't you agree… _Yuri-chan_?" he laughed lowly, but his question went unanswered. There was no way the pallid girl that was laying limp in his arms could even speak, when her whole body was simply….shut down.

* * *

 **A/N: I am happy to introduce to you the beginning, although maybe confusing and a little bit slow, to a story I hold very dear. ^-^ It's the product of a summer without internet in which I had had time to think clearly, and was gifted with a dream which I have later decided to turn into a little adventure.**

 **Shall we analyse a little? (I should bake a name for this part of the chapter)**

 **So Kanda has in his company this particularly perky individual that seems, perhaps, much too bright for his grouchy mood. (Also I know that the way I portrayed Kanda could be a little bit OOC. I am aware of his monster strength and extraordinary regenerating abilities, but I decided to show the part of him that wouldn't know how to use them when made to protect someone, and not kill. Also I'm pretty sure he could have handled those akumas by himself, but oopsie-daisy he didn't. Sorry ;P )**

 **I changed the year he left the lab too. Instead of breaking out at 11, I made him escape at seven.**

 **This Yuri is pretty mysterious though, isn't she? Where did she come from? How did she end up with our dear Yuu-kun here? Holly shit, holly shit we shall learn in future chappies :D**

 **Thank you for reading, I hope to see y'all further down the road with me and this story!~**

 **-Virtual hugs and sloppy smooches~**


	2. Chapter 2 - Guilt

Crossing over the incident at the mines like a ghost and wondering through town like living itself was painful, Kanda chose to withdraw to the small apartment he shares- better said- used to share with that joyful blob of irks. The town they've been living in was an industrial one, filled with blacksmiths, wood factories, mines, ports, so even if living complexes were greatly outnumbered by traditional houses, they still existed and were way cheaper. Workers had to live somewhere, did they not?

He still hates that polluted garbage they've been daring to call home. Permanently frowning, his face was nothing better than a scowl. The man that helped him, bless his heart, had taken care that the boy's face didn't have anything else on other than that sour expression. Being completely clean was such a pleasant feeling, but not enough to actually make him feel better. It did for a while, but then Kanda would see things that randomly remembered him of Yuri and his mood would plummet to the ground again.

The bakery smelled like freshly out of the oven bread, which reminded him that she'd sometimes disappear and come back with two whole loafs that they could feast on, or sometimes she'd steal tofu from a brute of a man and manage to come out alive. He felt bad whenever she'd bring more food than him. He felt like he was responsible for making it possible for the two of them to live properly and yet, in the end, she was the one that kept it all together. She was the one that kept _him_ together.

He didn't even notice when he had stopped walking or that he'd been staring at the bakery for far too long. The old man placed a hand on his shoulder to snap him out of it, and he did, because the moment Kanda felt the pressure of that man's hand he immediately slapped it away and continued to walk ahead like nothing happened.

"We could stop someplace to eat, if you'd like. I saw a wonderful dine just a few streets away." The man proposed, the samurai-in-training stopping momentarily to shoot him a tired glance.

"No one uses the word 'wonderful' here, old man. Nothing's wonderful." Sorrow still danced inside those eyes -as blue as the darkest sapphire- that turned to look ahead, but far away from where he stood. "Not anymore…" he picked up the pace once more, and before they knew it they had reached the small apartment's door.

"Ooh, true enough, you wish to pack if we've come to your home. The walk here was really refreshing, but you won't need any of your belongings. Back at the headquarters you'll be given everything you need." Immediately after those words came out of the man's mouth, Kanda glared up at him with the darkest look he'd ever seen on an eleven year old. Kanda kicked the door open in an impressive display of furry.

"Will the damn headquarters bring back Yu-chan?! Will they? Because I don't think they'd be able to give me what _I_ need! They won't be able to bring _her_ back!" Practically screaming, he shut the door in the man's face, stomping to the room he used to share with the petite girl since a very early age.

Kanda truly hated the man. His all too cheerful behavior unnerved and irritated him to a point he'd rather lodge Mugen in his throat than listen to anything else he had to say. True, the marshal had saved his life and promised an all too sweet-looking revenge, but was his torturous company really worth it when everything about Tiedoll reminded him of his hopelessness? Of the weakness he bore that led to Yuri's death?

What he was most afraid of caught up with him. He hated the man because he reminded him of her, and he hated himself for being weak.

Anger was still pumping through his veins. So did his innocence, it pumped in protest to his temperament, and he found it uncomfortable. His heart ached and an acute burning sensation persisted around the black marking on his chest. Sweat brimmed at his forehead, and he clutched at his black tunic in hopes the pain will go away. But it didn't and he stumbled around the small room until he found what he came here for in the first place: Yuri's birthday present, a beautiful swirling hair comb made of silver, a delicate lotus adorning its middle.

The young exorcist touched the surface of the comb gently, tracing its pattern with already calloused, shaky fingers. A wish of his was to give it to her when she'd be of age, as a symbol of maturity and feminine beauty. But now, he though, he'd never be able to fulfill that wish.

He though that maybe by the time they'd both be adults, they'd have this beautiful story, a peaceful life together, just like it was until now, because ever since they escaped from that notorious lab and kept on seeing that ghastly woman, he almost broke down. Almost. Such a person, artificially brought to life, wouldn't have been able to get a grip of how emotions work, but he did. Yuri taught him how to live, kept his mind off from what happened there; off of how his best friend tried to kill him and how, instead, Kanda was the one to end it, that boy's life.

And now, both the death of that boy and the death of Yuri lied heavily on his shoulders. He'll have to live with enormous amounts of guilt, until the end of his days. That's how the black haired girl knew he was kind. He felt guilt. He felt anger. He was angry at himself that he didn't make the right call, that he chose the wrong path, that he'd give everything, _everything_ , to turn back. He clenched his eyes shut painfully.

He was angry because he wanted to go back to something way beyond his reach.

Placing the comb carefully in a small sack, the boy tied it around his waist, picking up Mugen from where he had dropped it and taking a few seconds to inhale the calming scent of Clematis. This sweet smell had flown in the moment he opened the old wooden closet where Yuri's two ragged dresses rested motionlessly. She had always smelled so fresh and sweet…he was sure that by now he had become addicted. No matter the countless layers of dirt marring her pale skin, she always seemed like a strange embodiment of nature's daughter, tender and luminous.

Before walking back outside the apartment where the overly nice man was still waiting patiently, he shoved one of the dresses inside the gunny sack he always carried to work. As the man saw the boy open the door, a gentle and somewhat apologetic smile appeared on his face. His eyes definitely carried an edge and Kanda, instead of taking the smile as apology, had taken it as pity; therefore, he glared at him.

"I know that the order needs me more than I need it. I know that it will mainly use me for the stupid innocence fragment I hold within." Kanda started through gritted teeth. "I'll only go because this shitty town makes me sick. Because I want those sons of a whore to suffer. But listen well, listen to me," his gaze turned icy cold as he spoke. "Don't you ever try to act kind with me, you old geezer. I don't need your useless pity." The boy stomped ahead, Tiedoll sighing sadly.

"I have a long way to go with this boy…"

* * *

She remembered the numbness. This pathetic little girl practically floated in it, while darkness caressed her entire body. She felt encased in a void. Drifting. She even heard voices at some point.

The sounds were terrifying. Screams. Wails. Echos. They were the embodiment of torment, a sinister reminder that she wasn't, in fact, quite as present as she had been minutes ago. Or was it months now? Years? Did time even have any relevance anymore? How long could this bottomless pit keep dragging her down? Sucking her deeper until the pressure was so high she could feel her head about to burst, the voices so close she could practically feel hands desperately clutching to what part of her body they could come across. As if somehow, she was a bridge between living another moment of hell down there and escaping.

She wondered if this hell was what happened in death.

 **A/N** **: Second chapter is finally, _finally_ out. *breaths a sigh of relief*The first chapters are always the hardest to write (for me anyway) but I hope you liked it :D Honestly, mainly concentrating on Kanda's part of the story can become repetitive, so don't be surprised if the chapter splits and presents the point of view of someone else. It's for the sake of diversity, still, every part of this story is important. Many contain hints ;) **

**That being said, I want to thank the wonderful people that followed and favorited, and the lovely gals and lads that clicked this story! :D I kinda neglected this baby for a while and I feel really bad about it, but I caught a spur of inspiration and I will try to update more often.**

 **-Virtual hugs and sloppy smooches~**


	3. Chapter 3 - Patience

**A/N** **: A quick word! I lost the document from the first chapter so I can't modify it anymore, but I'm placing here a warning: I changed Yuri's hair color from that of wheat crops to inky black. Sorry for the inconvenience!**

"Slowly, son. You wouldn't want them fishes to escape. You have to be still, fast and, most importantly, you have to be silen-" Froi Tiedoll's words were cut short when an eleven year old Kanda launched aggressively at the mangroves swimming around.

"Son of a bitch! Tch, stop agitating you lustrous scale meat!" the young exorcist-in-training cursed loudly, splashing a quite disappointed Tiedoll in the face in the process.

The two males had been traveling around for quite a while, you see, and now they found themselves close to the shores of Australia's many rivers. Such a rigorous task was catching fish to Kanda that he ended up not only soaking wet and tired, but, once more, extremely frustrated.

"AGH!" he roared as a rather large mangrove used its tail to get revenge on the boy's left cheek. Out of anger, he unsheathed Mugen, which he never left outside of close arm's range, and spiked uncontrollably at the fishes, catching five and killing fifteen other. So much for being resourceful…

The marshal decided to regard the boy's actions as only the beginning of his maturing process, and began constructing his opinion on the boy's personal traits. He let out a humming sound as he observed how Kanda's chest raised sporadically with heavy breaths, his eyes blazing wildly at the waters, as if the entire species of fish murdered his family. He also noticed how tightly Kanda was gripping Mugen, and remembered his decision not to intervene when he and the ink-haired girl were being chased by those filthy demons.

If only he hadn't trusted their luck so much…

Tiedoll sighed. He knew he had a lot to teach the Japanese boy and he knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Oh, not at all. He also knew that Kanda was constantly blaming himself for what happened to the girl, and the marshal couldn't help but do the same thing for himself. His duty wasn't only to eliminate akuma, but also to save any human that could still be saved, and she had all the chances for a bright future, especially after she was revealed to be exorcist material.

Tiedoll sighed again. Although, his voice remained as calm and intermittent as it has ever been when he spoke to the child, hoping to calm his nerves.

"Yuu-kun-" he began gently. Kanda snapped his head in the marshal's direction and glared fiercely. _'Alright, wrong beginning. He seems to really dislike me using his first name.'_ "uh, how about we fry those fishes, huh? Ah, good job, good job. Although, next time, you should try to be more patient." Kanda huffed and looked away.

"There's no next time, old man! I'm not going fishing ever again! This is stupid! Only geezers waste their time with this."

Tiedoll hardened his gaze and with a more serious tone, he continued.

"You see, young one, fishing is not just some old man's activity. It can teach you patience. You cannot catch fish by losing your temper. Or, you can, but with great losses, both for you and the world around you." He took one of the tiny mangroves and raised it at eye level in both his hands. Its tail was beating in a pathetic try to escape.

"Fishes, you see, are part of the same ecosystem as we are, and each individual species has its own role for maintaining a certain balance. So is with humans and this constant war with the Millennium Earl and his puppets. There still is a certain balance between them and humans, but in the future it may not be. Innocent people don't have to die just because they wronged you or were in your way. Like these fishes you killed, if you continue to assume this kind of behavior, people will die and the balance will be broken." Tiedoll let the fish go as an example and it happily swam away.

Kanda stared hotly at the waters below him, frowning at his master's words. "So," he began after a moment of silence. "You mean to say that…if more innocent people were to die…there would be more akuma?"

"Yes. So many more." Kanda's eyes slowly widened, a new kind of feeling sparking inside him. He clenched his fists tightly and raised his head to stare his master dead in the eye.

He knew what he had to do. His eyes had never burnt so hotly, and with such fearless determination no less. However, that look bothered Tiedoll. He could still see all those suppressed negative emotions swirling inside his pupil's heart. He would die young if he kept on harboring them. Tiedoll wouldn't let things unsaid, though.

"You cannot place your trust on anger during a fight, son. Not on anger, not on hatred. You must find something else to fuel your power, because you will not last long like that."

"Tch...old man with stupid glasses…mind your own business. How I will handle myself regards only me and me only."

The old marshal placed a hand on his shoulder tentatively, mustering a serious expression."No, son. You can do nothing alone." Kanda held Tiedoll's gaze for a few moments, inhaling sharply when a memory surfaced in his mind.

 _Yuu-kun, look out!_

His eyes snapped shut as he reveled the feeling of being thrown on the ground, Yuri's intense, worried and fearful eyes boring holes through his heart.

 _His eyes widened at her form protecting his much larger body. "What…what are you doing?" He pushed her off and grabbed her shoulders tightly. "Come on, run! Get away from here!" She pursed her lips and gave him a stern look, shaking her head._

 _"No, Yuu-kun. It was my fault in the first place, we're in this together. You hear me?" She cupped his cheeks tightly. "_ _Together._ _"_

 _ **Together**_ _…_

He clenched a fist tightly, gritting his teeth to almost break-point. Tiedoll was right. Even if he were the strongest man on earth, there'd still be forces greater than his; such was the power of the Millennium Earl. There were so many things he could do, yet so little, and he could only go so far on his own. That's why, he thought bitterly, he lost Yuri. Because he was arrogant, he thought he could handle everything, he thought he could protect her. He thought…that he could be a hero.

And he lost.

But, he guessed, it takes a loss to then know victory. If only his didn't hold such weight…

He raised his eyes and cursed the skies. Cursed his damn childish episode of bravado and cursed the scientists that they had awakened him. If he wouldn't have been able to roam the earth, she would have still been alive. Alone and miserable, but alive. She was strong, and smart and so ingenious there was simply no way her life would have been wasted on the streets, or worse, in dirty kennels surrounded by thirsty and disgusting men. Or even worse, trapped inside some freak's manor where its inhabitants could take advantage of her unpolished naivety and use her to their will.

Simply not a chance.

* * *

She vaguely remembered daylight, or what happened that day to make it all so dark. She could only sit and listen to the silence, until she moved, and the rustling of sheets filled her ears louder than she remembered it should. She tried blinking, or opening her eyes, even rubbing them to see if somehow that annoying dense and viscous secretion had somehow formed a crust, gluing her eyelids together. But it wasn't the case. Everything was black.

It was the same thing every time she woke up. Her ears would scream in protest even at the tiniest of moves. She'd wait for a long time before anything else happened. Someone would enter the room she was in, almost soundlessly, unperceivable by the untrained ear of a simple human- though she knew the only reason she could know that was because her hearing was extremely sensitive as of late- and would place something cold and smooth on her lap. The sound of clanking and clattering of porcelain and the unmistakable aroma of black tea invaded her nostrils, signaling that breakfast was being served.

She smelled cologne. And iron. Her face remained emotionless as she gathered the mess of inky hair spilling over her shoulders and threw it on her back. She took a sip from the hot beverage and gently placed it on the tiny plate in her other hand. The girl's hair was whitening from the tips upwards, leaving her hair a strange sight for anyone.

"How come it is you that came today?" she spoke. The presence of this man was unmistakable. She heard a loud chuckle and the mattress gave in to an extra weight next to her. She felt someone placing strands of her silky hair behind her ear.

"I see you're adjusting to the cushy life of a princess rather quickly. Already using that tone with me…" he clicked his tongue, completely ignoring her question and leaning close to her ear to whisper. She showed no reaction as he continued to invade her personal space. "I should feel offended. I expected more warmth from my little girl."

"You are well aware we are not related by blood. Why do you continue smothering me with your strained affection?" she took another sip of her tea. "You're quite cocky too. I'm surprised you expect me to jump in your arms after your stupid stunt that day." She heard movement, and was sure the man placed a hand over his chest dramatically.

"Why, but I saved your life." She sighed. Every time he came to see her they would have the same conversation. Only, after some time, she learned that struggling and trying to claw his eyes out, showing emotion in general, served as weapons against her. So she learned to be blank.

"You saved nothing."

"I taught you manners." He pressed. "You are being treated better than any human that ever stepped foot in our home-"

"I never asked for it."

"I expect a little gratitude." She placed her empty cup down with an abrupt _clank_.

"Then restore my sight." If she had her vision, she would have been disappointed to see his face fall. He sighed. His slender yet powerful hand found its way to her neck. She tried not to hitch in surprise at his sudden display of irritation.

"Need I remind you that _I_ am the one who commands here? _I_ saved your life when I could have easily left you at the mercy of the akuma and _I_ have the right to treat you the way I see fit. These pampered fits you throw every time I come bother me. If father hadn't required that you live for a special occasion, I would have happily disposed of you and your body would have been a decent snack for my little friends, while I would watch you die moment by moment." Internally, she shuddered. Maids had told her stories of how this man's victims fell pray to his butterflies. The concept sounded ridiculous even now, except they were carnivorous and could eat your vital organs without leaving a trace. After finding that out it made much more sense, and the promise of meeting them actually sounded terrifying.

Trying to breathe through his vice grip, she let out a humorless laugh. She choked. "Please" she coughed. "You _kidnapped_ me." The image of a young boy with dark locks invaded her memory while she stared at the dangerous man with glazed eyes. "You killed me."

 **A/N: Oh my, who might that man be? I'll leave it at that ;) Thank you for reading! I don't mind y'all reviewing, I'm curious about your opinion~ I accept constructive criticism as well :) Thanks so much Kayo-San for reviewing! I really appreciate it :D**

 **-Virtual hugs~**


	4. Chapter 4 - Winded

"You killed me."

As a Noah, Tyki felt the compulsory need to get rid of the small girl boring holes into his head. After all, she was just a human, not unlike many others he had annihilated in all of his lifetimes. The only visible difference was that many a man was an exorcist, while she was…actually, he couldn't exactly determine what she was except maybe for blind.

The Millennium Earl had instructed him- with the grace of a caring father- to sneak traces of his blood into every cup of tea that she drank. He wouldn't dislodge any reason, but Tyki deducted that his beloved Earl was conducting some freaky experiment.

Impressively, the girl was responding to the Noah gene in a way he hadn't seen before. The Earl had overseen many such investigations, but every human that tried Noah blood became addicted, and without another dose, they died. Early and pitifully so, too. The poignant leech currently trying to unclench his hand from around her trachea? She was very much alive, and just as irritating from when he first met her. Perhaps more now than ever.

Her nails dug into his wrist like small razors, causing him to wince momentarily. Thankfully she wasn't able to see that, or his reputation would have gone quite awry. Great, who was the incompetent underling that neglected cutting her claws? Tyki was going to drill his orders in their heads for good this time-

 _Hold on a minute…_

His delicate brows furrowed in thought. How was a broken child able to hurt him? _Him?_ Was this the effect of his blood working into her system? He was well aware of the strength it gave to people, but to a child to be able to draw blood when _adults_ couldn't? His 'Refusal' ability hasn't worked to stop her either, which was incredibly odd. He felt rather humiliated.

No way in hell was he reporting to the Earl this time.

He put more force in his hold, relishing in the pained sounds coming from the little girl. He was so close to ending her life; just a little more force, a little longer. _So close._ But she had to start crying. That was actually new, Tyki thought. In a strained voice, she managed to rasp:

"I'll…behave…" The licorice skinned man's hold slackened in surprise.

"You will?" Doubt was evident in his voice. Judging by the way her neck strained she had tried to nod, but couldn't. It was really hard to see if she was lying or not, since the blindness actually served as a veil over her emotions. But what did he care? One flick of his wrist and she could be thrown in hell. "Well…" his grip on her neck disappeared, and her hands flew towards her chest, clutching her white nightgown in pain while she coughed. "For your sake I hope you will stay true to your word." Between shaky breaths and gasps, she smiled widely.

"I'll act accordingly, Tyki." Her tone was sweet and innocent, however too robotic for his taste. He had seen that expression in the past (minus the creepy blank stare than not even her eyebrows could give any expressivity to), so many times, before some unimportant human died.

He has certainly seen it. Mirrored in puddles and lakes and the polished metal of swords.

Right then, his mind reeled off to a seemingly impossible course. Cold sweat appeared on his back while every muscle in his body froze. He had never thought- _never-_ never even dreaded that the Earl might consider replacing him. Right then, a heart-crushing theory had placed its roots inside his mind.

The blood, his inability to refuse her hopeless try of prying off his hand, the look on her face that resembled his so much…

Tyki raised from the bed and quickly disappeared through the door. Alone in the hallway, his face displayed the most impressive amount of fear ever seen on a Noah and treacherous tears of betrayal streamed down his face. Would that ever be true? Would his dear lord ever want him gone? That could pose as a reason as to why he hadn't bothered telling this moping Noah details or the true reason. The target could have been really him all along. His golden eyes drowned in misery and trembled in pain.

It was a great 'what if', that he knew, but he had lived too many lifetimes to know better than to trust so blindly. Paranoia, since many eons ago, was brandished on his very existence like a damned curse. For the many insecurities he had, he couldn't be the weak link. He wouldn't let himself be disposed of like that! He'd make his lord see, _truly_ see him by proving who was the most useful. Placing his hand gloved in silk over his face, a crazed desperation made its way both on his features and his heart.

He was Tyki Mikk, Noah of Pleasure. He had obviously been too lenient and maybe too carefree, and so the Earl considered him unfit for the responsibilities that come with this title, he thought once more. Now the Earl had the perfect opportunity to create the perfect minion, and, like a fool, Tyki helped him wholeheartedly.

By any means or measures, he had to kill this girl and make it seem like an unfortunate accident.

* * *

Behind closed doors the little girl was lost in her own heap of tears. All for a different reason. She felt disgusted for promising the Noah sapience in exchange for her life, but mostly, she felt dirty; as if by being nice for such a monster she was lowering herself to another, stooping lower than a prostitute.

Little did she know the wreck train had just started moving.

A tiny, calloused hand that saw no breaks and only heavy rocks and needles, flew to her mouth to muffle the sobs. What would the boy she kept seeing in her dreams think of her now? Surely, it wouldn't even matter, even if his opinion and approval seemed to be kept in high and dear regards in her bleeding heart. To this point she knew she wasn't dead, although she was beginning to wish she was, but to the boy she lost her sight to save, she most probably was. The little girl was caught in a nightmare with no promise she was going to wake up tomorrow. There was no glowing hand to reach for her and save her from the dark abyss her captor had thrown her in. No one was coming to scoop this lost soul towards nirvana.

"I want to go home…" she cried. Her head raised towards the skies while fat tears smeared her rosy cheeks. "Please…" indelicate snorts accompanied her heartbreaking sobs and bawls. "Come take me home!" Ignoring the painful throb of her head and the hellacious ringing in her ears, she screamed for an answer until her voice turned hoarse, and even then the child didn't stop. She was hoping that by some ridiculous luck he would hear her, or feel the longing and woe and barge through the window to embrace her shaking form, although she wasn't sure if there even was a window.

"Take me home…"

Although, she was having trouble with that also. Her memory was blurred and she wasn't even sure if she has ever had a place to call home. All she could remember was a warm embrace, a safe haven between the arms of a person without a face.

It was warm enough for her to call it home, and so after god knows how much time had passed, she'd yet to stop yearning and screaming for it.

* * *

Wind rustled his long dark tresses, caressed his cheeks and carried the voice of nature. The trees of the forest seemed so alive at that moment, dancing to a silent rhythm. Kanda stopped walking; only the sounds of two sets of footsteps crushing snow remained. His breath sent tendrils of steam towards the sky, swirling and prancing in the air, adopting forms and faces until it disappeared. Froi Tiedoll and Noise Marie had also stopped to watch the youngest boy in confusion, while his eyes became jittery, his head turning in every possible direction, wanting to asses every detail in his surroundings.

The wind was calling him, whispering his name. He could feel it. It brushed over his cheeks again, and lingered, as if two heavenly hands were giving him the blessing of the skies. No enlightenment surged through his soul, however, but a tiny, tiny and melodious voice inside his head screamed at him to listen. Could he really ignore the sound of distant crying?

"Yuu-kun?" the warm voice of the marshal seemed far away, lost and drifting in an echo.

In a fit of bravery, Kanda rushed towards the sound. He sped determinedly through spiky bushes and leapt over hills and boulders, skillfully avoiding tricky branches, tired by the weight of snow and weakened by the cold. Trees turned scarce, and he could see the faraway lands pulling him closer, beyond the thick foliage of the mountain tundra. The voice of the wind carried his steps smoothly, pushing him to go further and faster. His sprint was brought to a screeching halt, however, when the hill ended abruptly with the masked fall towards a chasm. Tiny rocks and debris were severed from the safety of the earth and dropped towards the seemingly bottomless abyss. How far has he climbed in his wondering stupor?

His chest raised and fell with ragged breaths, sending more steam to kiss the skies. The run left him rather winded, and he peered curiously over the edge, sighing in relief at his quick reflexes. This was one rare occasion in which he was thankful for the monster strengths that came with his awakening. If only wisdom came with the package…

 _Yuu-kun_

A whisper was again carried by the breeze, pushing him closer to the edge, or rather, closer to the valley beyond the mountains. His surroundings were filled with a multitude of breaths and intelligible murmurs, overwhelming his senses. He closed his eyes in an attempt to send them away, but the volume increased.

 _Forward_

A strong breeze untied his long hair, and while he tried reaching for the thin material, bangs obscured his sight. He had to pry off the tuff of hair daring to enter his mouth to see that the silky blue linen was gliding through the air, over the chasm and farther, serving as a guide towards wherever this strange bodiless voice wanted him to go.

Frowning in determination, he backed away from the edge and took the fresh, cold air of late January in his lungs. As his feet began gliding over the snow, faster, each step sinking deeper as his force increased, he held it in. With a mighty roar, he jumped from the edge.

Kanda was soaring through the air, plummeting through the air currents like a bullet. He liked this freedom; it made it seem like fighting akuma could be the least of his concerns as weightlessness took over his body. Easy like a feather, he was approaching the other edge. It was an enchanting moment, just about the nicest feeling of adrenaline ever surging through him. It shattered, however, when he made contact with the other side.

Apparently, feathers don't make heavy thuds and certainly don't roll on the ground a few feet before stopping. Taking a few moments to breathe, Kanda rolled on his back and stared at the lazy clouds drifting past. The skies were gray, and he could hear a lone hawk cawing, flying in search for a prey. He could also see specks of green light appearing at the corners of his vision and he frowned, rubbing at his eyes. The light persisted, and he shot to his feet, confused. Now that he was climbing the mountain and reached the top, however, he knew why the light was there or why the wind was speaking to him.

Something shiny was glinting in the valley. In the valley full of spring and summer flowers. All around this beautiful sight a storm was raging, while rays of sunlight caressed petals and thick blades of lime grass. He was staring at a strange phenomenon, a dome of calm amidst a howling storm.

"Innocence…" he muttered. The longer he stared, the stranger he felt. As if this fragment of God's weapon wasn't the real reason he was there. He was certainly missing something. The wind was still frantically pushing him further, and by squinting through the blinding brightness of the dome, he could see his hair tie gliding beyond.

It was definitely strange still hearing the sound of distant crying.

 **A/N: Ayeee chappy 4 done. Tyki is crushed at this possible reality, while Kanda follows a voice that may not even be real, but are any of them even aware of the truth behind it all? We shall find out in the next chapters :D Thank you for reading~**

 **-Virtual hugs~**


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